Leave Me

We all experience pain whether it be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.  I myself have walked through pain on all the four pillars of life too. I don't expect there to be one human on Earth who hasn't. So. How do you deal with pain? How do you keep it from turning into shame, self-loathing, bitterness, resentment, a hardened heart, or what I consider to be the most terrifying of all, hopelessness?

I have found my path in life riddled with pain. Some at my own hand and some not.  Being the introvert, most do not know the pain I'm in.  I learned at an early age to hide it.  I was taught to be strong.  No excuse was acceptable for weakness.  If there was weakness then I needed to pray more, believe more and exercise my faith more.  If there was weakness it meant I needed therapy or I needed to toughen up and get over things.  All of this to say, I had to learn to shut out the voices who told me I was wrong in feeling.  I had to learn to not only cope with the pain, but also embrace it.

When I began to realize the pain, in whatever form or shape it revealed itself, was a part of the connected process of development I could analyze it better.  I could look at it from a place of understanding as to why it was there, what it was teaching me about myself and more importantly find gratitude within it.  I would never know joy had I not known sorrow.  I would never know peace had I not known chaos.  I would never know love had I not known apathy. I would never know kindness had I not known hate. Pain is real. It has a purpose. Evil is real and it too has a purpose.  It comes to kill, steal and destroy the human soul.  It is in the darkness, the hopelessness, the end of the soul's ability to stand where God reaches down and says simply, "Please. Let me help you."

I write my pain. I also let it run its course however long that may be.  This last lesson I walked through has taken me almost three years to overcome.  But I made it out of the darkness one step at a time.  Yes, I still hurt but I can tell you honestly I am freer now than I was yesterday. And, tomorrow I will be more free than I am today.  I embraced the pain, learned from it and came to know myself on a deeper level physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  You can too. No matter what you are walking through. The good or the bad.  Choose to embrace it to learn who you are.  Know thyself better and live your life being true to what is revealed.

Leave Me

Leave me to this pain
This thing said I
Majesty of chains
The wind blows and passes by
Soothing, purging, breathing a sigh
It scrubs away the darkness
The rain washing clean the ugliness within
Making a way back to the start
The beginning of all things
True and pure
Bringing whole again the soul and heart 
Two into one
Wholeness within
Purity of spirit without touch of men
All in His wisdom makes divine
The love to share the two intertwine
Showing the path of beauty and light
Cleansing the soul of jaded sight
A love so pure only the Father can give
Only a love to make the soul live
In His hands I do fall
Weeping and wanting love I do call
Come to me with open arms
Prove here with His words of truth
That this soul does have worth
Cut and true, purified by fire
Come to me my heart's desire
Wanting to love and be embraced
Having this love caress my face
Touching my soul in pureness of love
This only can come from above
(2007 ©)



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