Bending Reality

Loving hands and loving touch This from you I loved so much Memories and pictures run through my mind Remembering the joy left far behind The smiles that we shared But now, I am so scared Make the pain end Make it go away My soul existing through another day Tell me the answer please tell me true What am I to do here and now without you Why did you leave, why did you go My soul yearns for the answers never to know There is this void you left behind My tear stained face raised to the sky Praying for help to understand why Left here alone My heart turning to stone A soul yearning for release  A soul yearning for love (2007©) Unwritten Tale |  Source

Hope has died Hope has failed All of this life to no avail Take my hand and I will show you the pain In this place a voided plane A place of nothingness And place of pain All of this to sharpen my soul One dark hole Where is the reason in all of this The once promised life of blissfulness Walking alone a path of despair A soul of pain quietly waiting for rain Am I a failure and a mistake, insane In this life my breath it takes Show me the way back into the light In me I have not the hope to fight Hope has died Hope has failed On this sea of pain I sail Into the moonless night adrift Waiting and longing for the tide to shift The sails lay limp upon my soul Lifeless without the winds of change Bound to this vessel with chains of pain Cast about me like a comforting net The past and present on a path that is set Before and behind I am now blind Hope has died Hope has failed There is nothing more than this sea I sail (2007©)

Across the globe tonight each human soul is living out heaven or hell, or maybe a little bit of both.  Can you imagine hundreds of years ago when the only communication with a loved one was a written letter?  Months if not years would go by between exchanges of information.  Especially for those with family across continents.   Many would never hear from family or friends again once they left to go abroad. Tonight we have all heard of the news concerning Texas and the horrendously weird weather devastating our nation.  In other countries there is war.  I have seen several posts on Facebook by others stating, if you have problems don't post them here.  Or, we don't want to know every tit-n-tittle about your life.  It seems to me more people have issues with hearing the bad of everyday life versus the ok, or good.  Meaning, if someone is constantly posting happy, joyous and a bouncy bubble filled life, everything is gravy.  But, let this person post that life has turned ugly an

I sit here tonight Beneath starlight Writing my words and thoughts Into the void they travel and flow Expression of self A voice for my soul Bringing to life stories and wonder A lifetime of little things I ponder It could be joy or it could be pain Sometimes nonsensical fun or horrifically vain I write what I feel and write to express The world isn't boring when I can digress By writing a story or a few lines of prose Because in my imagination anything goes (2015 ©) bbabyshambles | youtube.com

Do you know your way Can you remember the signs Feelings and thoughts sometimes sublime Passing days  Passing years Sometimes joy and sometimes tears Just glad you were here That I wasn't alone Each day I tried to find my way home Small towns and big towns Roads that never ended There were times I gave up Sat and cried in the corner Then you called, made me laugh Reminding me there was purpose in the pain You said there would be sun but also rain You asked me the question and I've never forgot Do you know your way Can you remember the signs Feelings and thoughts sometimes sublime Passing days Passing years Sometimes joy and sometimes tears Don't look back, only ahead Stay in the now Embrace your time It's short and fast, never to last You're never alone Pick yourself up and keep moving on  You'll know when you get there The place of rest Until then just do your best No one can judge you except God

"Find someone to sit with you. To see this world, this life", he said to me.  "Find someone to sit with you and help you see the beauty again.  Because sometimes our eyes become clouded with the tears, the pain and the heartache.  Find someone to sit with you and wipe away those tears. To help heal the pain and ease your heartache.  It won't be easy, but if you try you might be surprised." (2013 ©) Life is about relationships.  The pings of one soul off another in the great pond of life.  Ripples flowing back and forth. All in one, each affecting the other in some form.  The ripples you give out will return to you.  They will return gently or violently.  Sometimes you have to move to another part of the pond if the ripples which affect you are not in tune with who you are.  This is perfectly normal and fine.  But, it is your responsibility to determine this and then to make the move.  Your life is yours.  Own it.  Make the relationships count.  Not just

Always compensating for failures past As I look back I have to laugh Who I was then and who I am now The mountains I climbed seem little somehow Finally free I am happy with me Loving myself is only the start Rising from the ashes with this new heart I face my future with pure intent My footsteps guided by angels heaven sent Mercy follows me and grace is at my side Clarity of soul to make me wise A healing journey and enlightened path I look back and have to laugh Who I was then and who I am now The mountains I climbed seem little somehow (2014 ©)

We all experience pain whether it be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.  I myself have walked through pain on all the four pillars of life too. I don't expect there to be one human on Earth who hasn't. So. How do you deal with pain? How do you keep it from turning into shame, self-loathing, bitterness, resentment, a hardened heart, or what I consider to be the most terrifying of all, hopelessness? I have found my path in life riddled with pain. Some at my own hand and some not.  Being the introvert, most do not know the pain I'm in.  I learned at an early age to hide it.  I was taught to be strong.  No excuse was acceptable for weakness.  If there was weakness then I needed to pray more, believe more and exercise my faith more.  If there was weakness it meant I needed therapy or I needed to toughen up and get over things.  All of this to say, I had to learn to shut out the voices who told me I was wrong in feeling.  I had to learn to not only cope with the pain, bu

In a world full of useless noise it is hard to find one's voice.  In the past I have spoken to many who have told me to write and share. When I am face to face with a person, or a few, I do fine. It is in the great expanse of the sea of people I find myself at a loss. Many can shout, or even scream, and be heard. I whisper. My convictions are just a strong, and I wish to be heard just as much. But I whisper.  Thus, I find myself better in one on one situations.  For me it is easier to listen, to look deep into the eyes and find the hidden parts of the soul.  Easier to focus on the person, not the noise. Now, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy sitting in a busy place and people watch.  Human nature is so fascinating.  The whys behind decisions made, or the plays of emotion within each connection. Everything is a story. Everyone has a story to tell. Life is a story.  We are only here for such a short amount of time. It is in the human nature to squeeze, to experience it all someho

To capture time, space All the shadows upon my face Where does it end? All in hope a life to spend Generations pass and flow All those to come reap what I sowed What I leave, hope or pain It will only be theirs to gain To my knees in reality I fall When the Spirit I denied calls In my eyes the light does fade Now with the shadows my soul is made Looking down what do I see? Those left to hold what was left of me Joy or sorrow it was my choice Remembering the shadows that crossed my face They are those gone before in this place I am now a remnant left behind I am the shadow deaf, dumb and blind (2007 ©) Source

Sun, moon and stars above Whispering winds and gentle breezes Only here when I am needed I am your friend and healer for a time Teaching you your way to find Even in my heart you will be To leave one day and move on from me Never to have you for more than a season Alone I will be and alone I will remain To move you onward down your path again In the shadows of your memory I will be Simply your stories to tell of me In my heart there is a yearning But from this path there is no turning To know you beyond the time of your healing Would be giving in to the pleasure of feeling A path of which will not be heeded Because I am here only when needed Maybe one day with a fondness of smile You will remember me and reminisce for awhile This path you walk is not mine to share In fondness and love I leave you there (2007 ©) |  Source  |

During the course of life I found myself lost. I had totally forgotten I had started this blog. Today, I decided to begin again and looked up this website. Much to my surprise, I found myself. Wow. 2011. It's been awhile. My life has taken many different turns since then and I find myself here beginning again. I am grateful. I am not sure who, if anyone, will ever read my words but I will leave them here for those who happen to drop by. Thank you for your time and welcome once again to My Blog of Days.