Love this. The poet James Arthur - Recovery

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Where Do I Go From Here?

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I am at a loss, dear reader.  How do I express myself when I struggle daily to understand my world right now?  I have never been here before, in this state.  This place is new to me and holds no security for me.  I am scattered in a million pieces, trying in vain to keep them together for any length of time.  Grief and pain fill me some days, and other days I feel normal if there is such a state.  It has taken me months to bring myself to this place to be able to write again.  I wonder if this too is in vain.  I believe I am afraid of feeling the pain which writing will bring.  But, maybe in doing so, I can begin to heal. I have lost my mom, dear reader.  She is finally at peace.  She left this existence October 24 as I held her face begging her to stay.  It was only she and I in her last moments of life.  Reduced to the child within, I kissed her and asked her not to leave just yet.  Yes, I was so very...
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It's Been A While

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I know it has been a long while since my last posting.  I have been lost and am slowly finding my way out of the darkness.  Losing my mother has been the hardest thing I have ever walked through.  The main reason is that my mom was my grounding and shield.  I did not realize how much I depended on her presence in my life, whether I was with her or not.  The very knowledge that she existed brought such peace to my soul. I knew I could pick up the phone and hear her voice anytime I wished. I could see her whenever I wanted.  She was here. When she became sick, and I moved to take care of her, it was helplessness I could never have imagined. To watch someone I love die slowly and know there was nothing I could do to stop it was debilitating. I could only make her life as comfortable as possible. Dementia is cruel and horrifically unkind. After we had to say goodbye, I was utterly lost. I couldn't save my mom. She was gone. The regrets, waisted time, 'should-ha...
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Vessel

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A vessel to Earth He became Healing the blind, deaf and lame Ridiculed and bearing man's hate Undaunted and facing His fate Friend to the outcast and the lost Embracing all, knowing the cost A heart for man, more than words Most calling Him mad and absurd Hearing our spirit's cry for release Upon the hearts of those that sleep Giving hope, peace, love so deep Sent here from the Father above A vessel pure, right, full of love Bringing man back into the light Spiritual eyes opened with sight Vessel of love, mercy and grace Souls to live beyond this place Safety, sacrifice and bearing up Drinking from death's dark cup Upon the tree His life did soak Stripping away death's dark cloak All for us, to know and to see How deep grace and love can be Precious soul, a heart to claim Taking away suffering and shame Bearing the witness, a love so true Knowing His vessel died for you (2016©)
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