Romantic vs. Soul Connections

What does it mean to have a romantic connection versus a soul connection with someone?  Are they the same?  I find myself differentiating the two as separate and very different states of being.

What is a romantic?  According to Webster, "A romantic is someone who has beliefs or attitudes of romance characterized by the expressions of love and an idealized view of reality, positive or negative."  They quickly experience passionate, tender and loving emotions or thoughts. They also experience the dark side to these as well.  Their glasses are often rose-colored, and they are prone to rely mainly on the physical expressions of others and themselves to validate their romantic notions. Romantics experience primarily within the realm of the heart.  The heart is a powerful place to be. The potential for intense and even explosive expressions is found here.  The saying, "They wear their heart on their sleeve," applies to romantics.  The imagination fuels this place. Thoughts run rampant throughout the halls using everything in the attempt to create an idealistic state of being.  The heart is where pain, torment, love, joy, sadness, apathy and all the emotions one can experience reside.  The heart holds many rooms, and within those rooms, there are many places of darkness and light. Romantics use all of these rooms to express themselves both in action and word.  Have you ever experienced a relationship that was so toxic to each but for some reason, they could not break free from it?  They love one another, but there is a darkness which taints everything?  Or, have you experienced a relationship where it seemed things were so perfect that nothing could go wrong or separate the heart connection?  Why is it in both situations things eventually do end?  In the toxic relationship love cannot win out over the negative aspects, and in the wonderful relationship eventually the two drift apart 'falling out' of love.  If the heart held the solid core of love would it stand to reason somehow in both situations love would win?  This question leads me to my next point, soul connections.

The soul, a place where expansion continually happens. Where the deepest understanding of the existence lies, and the place where the waking life takes on a whole new meaning and purpose;  the core of the 'I AM' and where the blueprint of one's destiny is. This place of deep waters, expansion of the self and the place where the connection to the whole resides.  When a connection with another soul is on this level it surpasses what lies within the heart, it goes deeper.  So deep that it becomes a part of the soul itself, an extension of it. This connection is a back and forth of feeding within in the soul between two people.  It is the give and receiving of profound expressions, thoughts, feelings, understanding, knowledge, wisdom, and existence.  It goes beyond mere superficial love and romantic notions.  It is a place of much deeper stuff.  A place which challenges each to push through to the next level of growth.  To continually expand into the totality of the 'I AM.'

A soul connection is an eternal relationship.  It is a relationship which transcends the relative.  It transcends time and space.  This connection is unhindered by beliefs, race, gender, economic or social status and nothing in the physical realm can touch it.  It is a connection that runs deeper than the heart, spanning the existence to such a degree that two people can go for extended periods of time without communication yet in a moment pick up where things were left without hesitation once reunited.  It is as if the lapse of time did not exist.  The two instances of time only merge and continue.  A connection between two people on a soul level renders the egos need for validation unnecessary.  Through the connection itself, the soul is continually validated.  No word or deed is necessary.  Have you experienced someone special with whom you could sit for hours on end, nothing spoken and yet feel so completely at peace? The need for particular actions to show how one feels is not necessary, nor required.  Just simply being in their sphere of influence is enough.  Then everything outside of it is like the icing on a cake.  Or have you experienced someone whom you have never physically met but through another form of communication found yourself connected? You can't explain it, it just is.  Connecting on a Soul level is the kindred spirit.  Two people who have found themselves drawn inexplicably together.  No longer strangers but friends.  And, sometimes this moves into the expressions of a romantic nature, which leads me to my next question, can a soul connection and romantic love intertwine?

In my opinion, I believe they can and do.  The heart grows to a much deeper level.  Love takes on a selflessness.  In this type of connection, the physical expression takes on a deeper meaning and we experience more acutely, feeling in the core each action and word.  The small details become more meaningful.  The romance within a relationship becomes more poignant.  We become attuned to everything about the other person.  So much so that a mere shift in energy is noticeable.  There may even be times where there can be a physical separation yet we feel what the other is feeling, or even know what they are thinking. Have you ever felt a spiritual 'pinging'?  Sometimes it is a nagging thought, an urge to call, to pray or maybe you find yourself having a physical sensation.  Have you ever known of a couple who died within a short amount of time from each other?  An elderly couple holding hands as they each pass away?  Or felt the sting of death deep within when a loved one passes yet you are nowhere near them? These are soul connections.  This depth of love is more secured, grounded and pure in form.  It lacks the negativity typically found when we only exist within the heart.  There is no place or room for jealousy, envy, manipulation or selfishness.  It is a place where the ego does not rule.  It is in relationships such as this that we can love another soul merely because they are.  In all of their idiosyncrasies, traits, expressions, and nature, embracing them totally without expectation of change. Romantic love can merge with a soul connection creating the most beautiful existence between two souls one could ever imagine.  We only have to move out of the realm of ego and fear to embrace it.

Not every connection is meant to be romantic.  Soulmates can be in any form of relationship.  We are all here to teach and to learn.  Being willing to embrace this opens many doors to develop soul connections with others whether it be romantic, friendship, teacher, and student, family relationships, mentors, the list goes on.  It is when we step into fear the doors close.  We close them.  If we could just understand the fear is baseless. The need to protect ourselves from rejection, judgment, heartache and the pain of loss is a defensive mechanism against something that doesn't even exist.  If we allowed deeper connections to happen, we would find ourselves entering a new state of freedom. Freedom to be just as we are within a relationship without apology, a relationship without expectations.  We are affirmed within if we free ourselves from expectations, no matter how someone responds.  Self-validation and happiness are our responsibility.  Our state of being is not dependent upon the response.  Hence there is no rejection when someone withdraws from a connection.  It is simply them closing the door on themselves, not us.  For us the relationship doesn't end, it only pauses.  We can go through life remembering them with love and positive thoughts.  And, if after a time the door is reopened, it will be as if the time apart never happened.

In conclusion, I believe we are meant to make more soul connections than to allow our relationships to exist in superficial states only.  I am a hopeless romantic, a loving individual who chooses to go deeper.  For me, it is in the deep places the real treasure lies and where a soul's beauty is revealed. That place is where I want to be, and it is there I want to love.

Walk In Peace | Source


  1. Ellen, this is so beautifully stated and written so wonderful... Yes, going deep and deeper into the depths of the soul, loving and allowing to be loved without boundaries or fear, being free to be...


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